I’d like to take a moment to talk to you about breakfast pizza

Share this nonsense:
Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail

I can’t express enough how much I love breakfast pizza. I’m silly for it. I’ve really only had it at a few places out but I like to make it myself as well. Perhaps a future video is in order. Hell, anything that keeps the monkeys from screaming so loud in my head right? 

It’s such a simple concept and seems so obvious. Flaky crust. Scrambled eggs with cheddar. Bacon. Sausage gravy. Holy crap man. It’s just crazy good. If you haven’t tried it well… what’s wrong with you? Are you some kind of communist? I bet you are. Well comrade hopefully you’ll take my word for it and give it a try.

joeskwikmartIf you’re lucky, you’ll have a local gas station or something with some kind of breakfast pizza wizard like I did when I lived in Mt. Pocono. There’s a gas station right on Long Pond Rd. and 940, “Joe’s Kwik Mart” that had this dude working there that would start cranking out the breakfast pizzas around 3-4 am, well after “bar hours”. So, after a night of bar hopping followed by ending up at some stranger’s house to continue the party, I’d head over to this gas station right on the way home and I’d order a whole breakfast pie and proceed to defile myself with a couple (maybe few) slices at home and pass out in a drunken bliss. Ahh, youth. I miss it. I’d be sick for four days if I did that crap now.

breakfastpizzadude
Artist’s rendition of the wizardly breakfast pizza dude of legend.

Anyway, back to this crazy wizard that made the best breakfast pizza I ever had (better than my own actually). He told me once when I was waiting for a pie that he starts with a pre made pie crust they bought from a local pizza place, then he smothered it with a whole container of garlic butter and ran it through one of those little table top pizza makers first. Then he’d add all the toppings in very healthy quantities. I remember serving some to Ronnie from Malignancy and he looked at me and said “That’s good. That’s real good. You eat to many of those you won’t live too long kinda good.” I fully agreed. Luckily this guy stopped working there for whatever reason and I guess in their ultimate wisdom they stopped offering the breakfast pizza there and I survived to tell the tale of the wizardly breakfast pizza dude.

I for years when visiting the Pocono house would stop in there if I was up in the AM doing a coffee run to see if the wizard was back making deadly breakfast pizza that can make you fat just looking at it. Unfortunately, I’ve been unsuccessful to date.

This saga will continue…

Leave a Reply